Courtesy of Lockheed-Martin Corp.

New Bacon Grease Missile

Raytheon announced today an exciting addition to its line of air-to-ground missiles: the AGM-98 “Hell Pig”, an air-to-ground missile wit [...]
Spoilers

Star Wars Spoiler Leads to Lockdown

Pandemonium broke out Monday morning at the Bravo Company morning formation when Private Silvio Snuffmeister whispered key plot points and t [...]
Refugees

Syrian Refugees Overwhelm Christmastown

Hit The Woodline has learned that Syrian refugees are threatening Christmas and Santa is at a loss in how to deal with the crisis. “Refuge [...]
ArmyNavy

Army to Go Asymmetrical Against Navy

Hit The Woodline has learned that Army will be using unconventional strategy in the game today against Navy in the form of asymmetrical play [...]
SecretMeetings

Dino Poop Disguises

Hit The Woodline has learned that Democratic Party spies have been infiltrating Republican closed-do [...]

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 11:  TV Host Jerry Springer celebrates the taping of "The Jerry Springer Show" 20th anniversary show at Military Island, Times Square on October 11, 2010 in New York City.  (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

Jerry Springer New RNC Chair

Jerry Springer has been announced to be the new chairman of the Republican National Committee. Hit T [...]

January 9, 2016
Goat

ISIS and Taliban to Co-sponsor 1st Annual Boy and Goat Beauty Pageant

Hit The Woodline has learned that the Daesh (ISIS) and Taliban are co-sponsoring their first annual Boy and Goat Beauty Pageant. Anticipation amongst fighters of both […]
January 1, 2016
2016

Predictions for 2016

John Stewart will be named the new executive producer for The O’Reilly Factor on FOX News. “I can’t fight it any longer,” will say Stewart. “I’ve […]
December 31, 2015
HNY2016

U.S. Government’s New Years Preparations

The U.S. Government made the following announcements today that are in preparation of New Year’s Eve 2016. All the preparations, listed below, have roots in tradition […]
January 9, 2016
Goat

ISIS and Taliban to Co-sponsor 1st Annual Boy and Goat Beauty Pageant

Hit The Woodline has learned that the Daesh (ISIS) and Taliban are co-sponsoring their first annual Boy and Goat Beauty Pageant. Anticipation amongst fighters of both […]
January 1, 2016
2016

Predictions for 2016

John Stewart will be named the new executive producer for The O’Reilly Factor on FOX News. “I can’t fight it any longer,” will say Stewart. “I’ve […]
December 31, 2015
New-Year-Pictures-2016

New Years Suggestions

Okay, all you yahoos, gather ‘round. We, the editors at Hit The Woodline, offer the following suggestions to help you prepare, mentally and materially, for New […]
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