Recent Articles

Brian Williams in a completely real photo of him reporting live from Normandy.

Brian Williams Comes Clean About D-Day

New York, NY - On the heels of perhaps the most bizarre, unnecessary, and outright absurd instance of stolen valor, NBC correspondent Brian Williams agreed to sit down with Hit the Woodline and explain himself. Though the interview was scheduled to … [Read More]

Howard Schultz, CEO and founder of Starbucks, seen holding a cup of Black Rifle Coffee.

Starbucks CEO To Step Down

Seattle, WA - It’s possible that you have never heard of the man behind one of the most successful corporations of all time but the vision that Howard Schultz brought to the coffee business has changed the industry forever. Today, Howard Schultz … [Read More]

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Man Goes to Heaven, Talks HBO with God

2010’s best seller Heaven is for Real which was based on a real life 4-year-old’s account of heaven is now a feature film starting Greg Kinnear. The film has grossed close to $100 million since it’s release in April, and now major studios are … [Read More]

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Rick Merritt Defeats ISIS in Iraq

Savannah, Georgia – Early reports are coming in that the militant group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria – otherwise known as ISIS, was single handedly defeated by one man last night. Command Sergeant Major Rick Merritt, otherwise known as Sarn’t … [Read More]

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President Apologizes for Independence Day

Washington, D.C. – In a surprise move, the President held a late night press conference at the White House last night with a surprising announcement. On the evening of the nations 238th birthday, the President issued a formal apology to the United … [Read More]

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Pentagon Discovers Cure for PTSD

Face your deepest and darkest fears. That’s what we have been told time and again as young, testosterone filled war fighters. Nightmares used to haunt some of us, and it could have been due to the boogieman hiding in the closet. But sooner or later, … [Read More]