- Political and Military News Satire You Can Trust
Savannah, Georgia – Early reports are coming in that the militant group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria – otherwise known as ISIS, was single handedly defeated by one man last night.
Putin went on to give the historical context for justifying annexation. “This is simply a return to the status quo, a righting of the international wrong that was done to Russia when we were stripped of our Alaskan province. Alaska was, and will be again, sovereign Russian territory. This will be a completely peaceful transition,” Putin claimed, “We’re only sending our army over to ease the transition back to Russian control and to protect the ethnic Russians that might get caught in the crossfire.”
Early reports are flowing out of Europe that President Francois Hollande has tendered Frances surrender to Russian President Vladimir Putin in a surprising Monday morning power play. The move has sent tidal waves through the international diplomatic community, with many concerned that the move will prove to only embolden the aggressive Russian war machine.
“Let me be clear: if you like your homosexual jihadi sex partner, you may keep your homosexual jihadi sex partner. My new plan doesn’t change that. But listen, sexual harassment is never OK, even on Thursdays,”
