December 22, 2015

Syrian Refugees Overwhelm Christmastown

Hit The Woodline has learned that Syrian refugees are threatening Christmas and Santa is at a loss in how to deal with the crisis. “Refugee camps […]
December 10, 2015

Merkel Announces 4th Reich

German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced today that in light of the massive influx of Muslim immigrants, expected to eclipse one million by the end of 2015, […]
December 9, 2015

Beijing Pollution Forcing People Underground

China announced today that all Beijing residents will immediately make plans to stay inside for at least the next six months and not go outside unless […]
November 23, 2015

New Vatican Army

Hit The Woodline has learned that the Vatican is expanding its 135-man Swiss Guard for offensive operations, is making the Vatican’s token ceremonial force into a […]
April 27, 2015

Obama and Putin Get Into YouTube Comment Fight

Washington, D.C. – With diplomatic relations dwindling between two of the worlds super powers, it comes as no surprise that the occasional cheap shot would be […]
July 19, 2014

Malaysia Airlines Now Requires Reflective Belts for Passengers

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – Tragedy has struck again for Malaysia Airlines, only months after their last passenger plane went missing. In light of the 295 passengers who were plucked from the sky at the hands of Ukrainian opposition forces, the airline is taking a page from the U.S. Military’s safety playbook.

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