German Chancellor Angela Merkel announced today that in light of the massive influx of Muslim immigrants, expected to eclipse one million by the end of 2015, and the political ramifications of that, the German Government is proclaiming the reorganization of the Fourth Reich to deal with the situation.
“Naziism was very successful in digging Germany out of a very deep hole the last time, between the World Wars,” said Merkel, “and we hope that it can do the same again.”
Merkel made a special request of the United States, that they restrain Will Ferrell and not allow him to do a remake of The Great Dictator. “I really do not want to see Amy Schumer playing me in a poorly scripted political parody,” said Merkel.
Germany is set to exceed one million new asylum-seekers by end of this year, 2015, four times as many as the previous year, 2014. 964,574 were registered by end of November of this year. 206,101 Syrian migrants arrived in Germany in November alone. German Chancellor Angela Merkel projected in August that the total for the year would be around 800,000. Some on the German government have feared that number could reach as high as 1.5 million. Germany has taken in more asylum-seekers than any other European nation.
Chancellor Angela Merkel’s policy of welcoming Syrian refugees has been supported and even applauded by many, but has brought intense criticism from others, in particular from some senior ministers who have publicly questioned the approach, an enormous strain on German infrastructure.
Merkel closed the press conference to questions, turned to leave, but then stopped, turned back to the podium and said, “Oh, yeah, and by the way, “Deutchland Uber Alles” and gave a little open-handed wave to the crowd of reporters.
Woodline has also learned that Marine Le Pen has reached out to Merkel’s office, requesting guidance on the correct pronunciation of “Sieg Heil.”