March 29, 2014

Rangers To Bring Back “High and Tight”

As the Army releases the updated AR 670-1 with new standards on appearance and grooming, the Regiment has responded in kind with new and higher standards of it’s own.

December 7, 2013

Michael Hayden: New Pitch Man for “SCIF Spray”

9 out of 10 Special Security Officers (SSOs) recommend high-level intelligence figures use SCIF Spray™ when talking to reporters about national security on an unclassified phone while in a public area. 

November 23, 2013

Taliban Leader: Sexual Harassment is Never OK!

“Let me be clear: if you like your homosexual jihadi sex partner, you may keep your homosexual jihadi sex partner. My new plan doesn’t change that. But listen, sexual harassment is never OK, even on Thursdays,”

November 21, 2013

Denied Re-Enlistment in US Army, Soldiers Sign Up for Pakistan’s Military Because “They Still Have Money”

Perplexed by a government that is $17 trillion in debtyet can still find $1.6 billion dollars in bribe money for its erstwhile “ally” Pakistan, and denied the ability to re-enlist in the US military due to a massive drawdown and policy changes related to tattoos, large numbers of former US servicemembers are flocking to join Pakistan’s armed forces, in part, we’re told, “because they still have money.” Reporters with enabling support from anonymous backers in an underground organization known only as “ShadowSpear,” traveled to the rugged and lawless Federally Administered Tribal Region (FATA) of Pakistan for this exclusive story.

November 15, 2013

Army Contemplating Replacing Entire NCO Corps with “Contract Provided” Personnel

General Raymond Odierno, the Army’s Chief of Staff, announced today that the Army was considering a plan to do away with the entire Non-Commissioned Officers Corps in favor of contract provided personnel, or CPs.

November 5, 2013

173rd Airborne On The Chopping Block

Among the proposals being submitted to congress include measures that will deactivate the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team based in Vicenza, Italy and in locations around Germany.

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