Washington, D.C. – With diplomatic relations dwindling between two of the worlds super powers, it comes as no surprise that the occasional cheap shot would be made. But as many know, the gloves come off when you get into an argument in the comments section of a YouTube video. This is exactly what happened early this morning, when President Vladimir Putin told President Obama that he, “didn’t even know what he was talking about,” in a heated debate raging below a Spetznaz vs. Navy SEAL YouTube video, after President Obama had said Navy SEALs would obviously win in a head to head matchup.
It may come as a surprise to many that the worlds leaders engage in such petty banter, but according to sources close to both administrations, “Putin was black out drunk on some vintage Siberian vodka, and Obama is at the point in his presidency where he gives zero fucks. On top of that, his tee time had been rained out. The situation was ripe for an emotional internet argument between the two.” Experts from the world-renowned political think tank, The View, agreed that in the age of modern politics, social media venues are often diplomatic battlegrounds; especially when a lame duck president is bored and a ruthless, emotionally devoid dictato… err… “Democratically elected President” is drunk.
After the incident, the White House Press Corps questioned the President on why he behaved in such a manner on the Internet, to which Obama responded, “Look, Putin is a thug and a bully. There is no way that I will let his behavior spill over to YouTube, belittling our beloved and politically convenient Navy SEAL’s. I mean, BUD/S is the hardest military training in the world, has he even seen Act of Valor? Come on, the Spetsnaz don’t even go to HALO school. What’s next, is he going to tell me that the .45 is better than the 9mm <lightly chuckling to himself>?”
Some critics are upset that President Obama hasn’t put the same energy into combatting ISIS or fixing the impending college loan bubble burst, and others have said that Putin is a racist and utilized his white privilege to argue with Nobel Peace Prize recipient Barack Obama. One thing is for certain, when screen names ‘BigOinTh3Wh1teHouzzz’ and ‘vodkaANDhoes3145’ go at it on YouTube, it’s a whole lot scarier knowing that both of them have nuclear weapons at their disposal if the comments section becomes too heated.