Monterey, California (June 18, 2014) – The Department of the Army released a statement regarding ex-prisoner Bowe Berghdal today, announcing that as soon as he is cleared by the medical staff caring for him during his recovery, he will be on orders to the Defense Language Institute (DLI). His experience living by, through, and with the native Afghan and Pakistani people is invaluable, and the Army wants to capitalize on it any way they can. Although not confirmed, his official title will be Director of South West Asian Studies.
Typically you need at least a post-graduate degree from an accredited university to teach at DLI, but the American Council on Education (ACE) awarded Berghdal enough credits for his experience as a prisoner for him to receive a PhD from Phoenix University, thus qualifying him for the job. Although his salary has not been made public, other professors from DLI take home between 140,652 – 178,893 dollars per year. Dr. Berghdal has made it clear that he would prefer to be paid in livestock and fine silk.
Dr. Shinseki, DLI Commandant, said, “Dr. Berghdal is exceptionally brave, and no one is as well versed in southwest Asian studies as he is. We will be happy to welcome him to the teaching staff, and look forward to him positively influencing our young service members who attend DLI.” Others are excited with his addition to the staff as well. Private First Class Harrison said, “I have looked up to him as a hero for some time now, and know that his teachings will be invaluable in my military career. My only hope is that I can live up to his high standards and meet his every expectation.”
For now, the military is just concerned with him healing up and being back on his feet. The military is changing and keeping only the most loyal supporters, which makes Dr. Berghdal the perfect fit for a transitioning Army. The bonus? He doesn’t even have any tattoos!