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Cavalry Scouts Awarded Tab and Beret

Fort Knox, KY (April 8th, 2014) – United States Army Cavalry Scouts will finally be given the distinguished headgear and shoulder tab they have long argued that they have not only earned, but also deserve. Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond Chandler, a tanker himself, made the announcement today at a ceremony that included the donning of the beret in place of the cowboy hat, and awarding of the tab to a variety of Cavalry Scouts in attendance.

Friends, family, husbands, and boy friends were all in attendance for the Cavalry Scouts who made history and paved the way for the future of the career field. “Cavalry Scouts are the elite reconnaissance specialists of the Army, who have made a larger impact on the war effort than the Infantry, Rangers, and Special Forces combined. Men, you have waited too long, and suffered too much – congratulations,” SMA Chandler said as the shoulder tabs were awarded one by one.

The new tabs and berets did not come with out controversy though. The tab itself is longer than the Special Forces Tab, making it the new “Long Tab.” If the awardee also is authorized the Special Forces and Ranger tabs, the Cavalry Scout tab will be worn above both. There is no word on where the Cav Scout Tab would be worn in relation to the Sapper Tab, as no one cares about the Sapper Tab. The beret is tan in color, which the Rangers were not happy about. When asked why they were ripping off the Rangers’ distinctive headgear, one Scout replied, “The Rangers have khaki berets, we have tan… totally different colors, I don’t think anyone will mistake the two.” Not all scouts are happy about ditching their cowboy hats for berets though, and many have threatened to march on D.C. in protest of the change.

We reached one Sergeant in the newly designated 75th Battalion, 1st Special Cavalry Scout Forces Group about what he thought about the changes. “This has been a long time coming. We are just as fit, just as tactically proficient, and just as high speed as any other unit. We see ourselves as the land based version of Recon Marines, and want the respect that comes with it.” What will come next for the Cav Scouts? Hostage rescues, under cover spy operations, and epic beards are all on the horizon according to their revised Mission Essential Task List (METL). That will all come in due time though, for now their commander said they will be focused on getting the unit “all green” on the annual Proper Wear of the Beret and Tab Online Training Course (PWBTOTC) tracker.

"Hit the Woodline" is a Force12 Media, LLC satire publication. All articles on this website are satirical in nature, meant for entertainment purposes.
  • Me

    This is amazing, we are the unspoken part of the army. I’m not sure how other specialized units will take this. The recognition is definitely a big thing — regardless of where the tab goes. “Scouts out!”

    • rgrtom

      Here’s how other specialized units will take this: “You gotta be friggin kidding me! First the sapper tab and now this? What a frggin joke!” From a former black beret wearing (when only WE wore it) alum of the Ranger Regt.

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