December 29, 2015

New Bacon Grease Missile

Raytheon announced today an exciting addition to its line of air-to-ground missiles: the AGM-98 “Hell Pig”, an air-to-ground missile with a two-pound can of bacon grease […]
December 22, 2015

Star Wars Spoiler Leads to Lockdown

Pandemonium broke out Monday morning at the Bravo Company morning formation when Private Silvio Snuffmeister whispered key plot points and twists to his buddy, Private First […]
December 22, 2015

Syrian Refugees Overwhelm Christmastown

Hit The Woodline has learned that Syrian refugees are threatening Christmas and Santa is at a loss in how to deal with the crisis. “Refugee camps […]
December 12, 2015

Army to Go Asymmetrical Against Navy

Hit The Woodline has learned that Army will be using unconventional strategy in the game today against Navy in the form of asymmetrical plays and pass […]
December 7, 2015

Ultimate Drone Matches Between Units

“Fuck, yeah, dude! Bravo Company rules the low skies!” said Spec4 Connor Synek after a victorious match at the National Training Center, on Ft. Irwin, California, during […]
November 30, 2015

Green Berets Date Back to Civil War

U.S. Army Special Operations Command announced today that credible evidence has been found that suggests the earliest Green Berets date back to the Civil War, and […]
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