Rangers To Bring Back “High and Tight”
March 29, 2014
Arrests Made Over ObamaCare Deadline
March 31, 2014

You Won’t Believe What The Media Is On Fire About

New York, NY (March 30th, 2014) – Social media websites are on fire with buzz about a groundbreaking new journalism technique that could potentially be a game changer for the entire media industry. Professional writers from Los Angeles to New York are trying to emulate and implement the new technique, but are only ending up confused and disenchanted in their futile attempts. What is certain is that those able to master this new style of writing have the potential to dominate all mediums of information delivery.

At this point, nobody has a name for the new technique. Critics are calling it old fashioned, and others say even if it works it would just be too much effort to learn how to do themselves.  One professor of American Literature from a prominent Ivy League university said,  “It’s a very strange writing style that has it’s roots in the 20th century, but has not been seen in modern times.” Although academia may recognize traces of its origins, the average layperson has no idea what to make of it. “I just don’t get it. There are no lists, I didn’t have to click through multiple pages to read it, and there was only one picture… it was just… all right there!” remarked one reader who witnessed the new technique themselves.

Is this the beginning of a literary revolution? We asked one world-renowned writer their opinion, which was candid and to the point. “As much as I would like this writing style to catch on, I just don’t think the consumer will ditch high quality journalism pieces like ‘The Top Ten Places You Should Visit Before You Turn 30’ and ‘25 Abandoned Houses You Have To See To Believe!’ in favor of writing that is well researched, well written, and leaves you at minimum a little wiser than you were before reading it.”

Whether the tide shifts or the status quo remains is yet to be seen. What seems certain is that this new style leaves readers with a choice: Settle for cheap thrills, or demand a higher standard of excellence in what you take time out of your day to read.

UP NEXT: Top 10 REASONS YOU SHOULD BELIEVE EVERYTHING JAY CARNEY SAYS

"Hit the Woodline" is a Force12 Media, LLC satire publication. All articles on this website are satirical in nature, meant for entertainment purposes.
The Force12 Media Network
WilkowMajority.com