Your Christmas Stories
December 24, 2015
Christmastown Disappeared
December 27, 2015

North Pole SitRep (Update)

All is Good in Christmastown. Reports from there are that Santa and his large force of support elves are good to go and ready for tonight.

Syrian refugees all are being settled into snow caves or igloos. But, the majority are being moved to and resettled in the Nunavut Territories and in Greenland where they are reported to be adapting very well to the arctic cold and friendly polar bears.

The islamofacist Krampus gnomes have been contained and neutralized, for now, according to Army Special Forces teams there, on the snow. This was achieved, largely, by the formation of a new North Pole security force that is being called the 1st Special Santa Force (1SSF), which is comprised of yetis, polar bears, snowpeople, arctic werewolves, weresledogs and thirty foot long snow snakes. The Alaska National Guard is requesting interface.

Santa’s route is open and secure, according to NORAD and the NORPOCOM.

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So, Merry Christmas, from all the editors here at Hit The Woodline, to all our readers and friends.

"Hit the Woodline" is a Force12 Media, LLC satire publication. All articles on this website are satirical in nature, meant for entertainment purposes.
  • herschel wince

    question: did dem santer elfs make dem islamosiegheil gnome dudes abstain from christmasy goat union marriages an’ crap? or did dem santer elfers jus’ poleaxem’?

    • Mother Forker

      I will try to get SitRep from NORPOCOM.

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