BLM Disrupts 420 Festival
April 20, 2014
Bloomberg Expands New York SAFE Act
April 27, 2014

Mat Best Accused of Stolen Valor

Denver, CO (April 26th, 2014) – In recent months the Internet, specifically YouTube, have been under siege by comedic sensation and former Army Ranger Mat Best. He first made waves through the military and special operations community with his video How To Be An Operator, which was a satirical look at members of elite special operations units and currently has nearly 600,000 views on YouTube. His fame grew with each video topping the last as well as the launch of a clothing line. His latest video, Epic Rap Battle: Special Forces vs. MARSOC, has been the source of recent controversy though.

Mat Best spotted at an undisclosed location in Texas Mat Best spotted at an undisclosed location in Texas

The video, which depicts a Green Beret duking it out with a MARSOC operator via a comedic “rap battle” has drawn criticisms from both communities. The point of contention? Mr. Best is seen depicting both characters, in which he wears the famous Green Beret of the Army Special Forces as well as the Eagle, Globe and Anchor of the Marine Corps in his costumes – neither of which he has earned. One Special Forces NCO commented on the matter, “Mat already has a plethora of bikini clad women, why does he need to impersonate us as well? And a Marine riding on a 160th bird… get real. He said some really hurtful things about 18x’s and the National Guard… the Stolen Valor Act is the only way for us to get revenge!”

The Marine Corps was not happy about the situation either. “We do not take some bearded internet hippy wearing our shit lightly. I mean, his tattoos aren’t even in regulation! And a Marine riding on a Little Bird… that’s not even realistic! This finger snapping, Jameson drinking Ranger needs to get back in his lane – and take off our EGA!” said one Marine, who also produced a list of demands, which included having Mr. Best admit that Rangers were ‘basically the same as Marines’. Mat and the rest of the Article 15 crew are all military veterans themselves as well as being clear that they have nothing but the utmost respect for all branches of the service, they thought it was clear the videos were only meant to be funny and did not anticipate the drama that has ensued.

Upon our request for an interview, we were blindfolded and driven to an undisclosed ranch in Texas to meet with Mr. Best himself for a Hit the Woodline exclusive. Riding up to greet us upon a mythical unicorn whilst wearing nothing but Ranger panties and holding a bottle of Jameson whiskey, his response to our rapid fire questions on the matter was short and to the point, “Rangers Lead the Way.” With a snap of his fingers, he was gone and we were left in the dusty Texas driveway in nothing but our undergarments. For now, it seems the issue is un-resolved – but the stolen valor accusations are not likely to gain traction as the government is too busy with more important matters like passing budgets and eradicating corruption.

"Hit the Woodline" is a Force12 Media, LLC satire publication. All articles on this website are satirical in nature, meant for entertainment purposes.
  • MJA5

    The video was a joke. This hit job is kinda lame. Which might be why I am the only person that has commented on it.

  • CountryBoy

    It’s a JOKE article, you fool. Did you take the time to read it before you commented? Can you read?

    • Dylan Kroll

      this is a joke website, too

  • Charles Kafka

    hell with it! i want Matt Best for president!!!!!!

  • Momof4

    Uhm I do NOT see Ranger panties 😉

  • Jax

    Just like the Marines to bitch about a joke. And to compare marines to Batt boys.. give me a frigging break. Not even close.. marsoc changed their names to feel important. RTLW remember that shit!

    • jonny

      You retarded ranger. I’m a Marine and even I know its RLTW. not RTLW. Probably just the best at the inability to spell.

      • Ryan

        Both of you are so fucking stupid to realize that this entire article is a satire joke for entertainment just like mats video. But what should I expect from guys that failed the ASVAB and had to join the Army or Marines. Just be happy that when you dumb pawns can’t finish a fight that you started with some rocking throwing goat fuckers, Us intelligent people of the USAF(aka your daddys) will becoming to bail you out, finish off the enemy and rescue you.

        • Christopher Ferrone

          LOL there’s a reason EVERY branch calls you the chairforce!!

        • Lames J Jandrum

          Apparently you don’t know what a warrior is. Some people dont join because of their intelligence level. They have things things called “balls” giant brass fucking balls… Some people WANT to be marines and soldiers because they want to actually fight. Shut your POG ass mouth…. i scored a 78 on my asvab and i didnt even try because i wanted to be a grunt. Get off your high horse scrub. If it werent for the 1 percenters youd be out of a job fuckboy. We were here first and we’ll be here last

        • Brian_D

          Shhhh, little Airdink…the grownups are talking…

  • Scoutsout

    The marines are basically Rangers ?? ?? since when was that real life, Rangers go through multiple schools and ranger indoctrination program aka R.i.p is just a nut check

    • dkgiovenco

      When I was a Army Recruiter the MC recruiter said their BT was just like our Ranger School. I laughed and told the LEGS to be on his way.

  • DirtDiver76

    Bah ha ha… great article… I know at first glance most would likely have their panties in a wad… No vet would get pissed over Matt’s videos… least none that actually went over and spent time in the sand box… we’d merely laugh it off and get into a fight over women, then get drunk and become “Best” buds.

  • Jimney123

    Oh goodness, every vet I know who’s watched that video, some from Bat and Group, all thought it was hilarious.

  • Stinkles Smellsworthy

    They always be accusing people of stolen valor but they never be accusing people of having an I.Q. above 7, that’s for sure.

    • Robby Curnutt

      They be what, and they I.Q be how many?

  • Jason

    Are you SHITTING ME? Stolen valor? Get a life and start recognizing humor when you see it boys!

  • Rick

    I agree with EVERYBODY! I’m retired Army and Best is funny as hell! Pull the M-60 out of your ass!

The Force12 Media Network
WilkowMajority.com