July 30, 2014

Jesse Ventura Hospitalized, Then Sued By Fellow Navy SEALs

Minneapolis, Minnesota – Jesse Ventura, well known as a Navy SEAL, professional wrestler, as well as the governor of Minnesota, has just released a statement confirming rumors about his recent hospitalization. Only hours after winning a 1.8 million dollar settlement against the widow of Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, Ventura was admitted to the Mayo Clinic following symptoms that were confirmed as the onset of...

July 19, 2014

Malaysia Airlines Now Requires Reflective Belts for Passengers

Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia – Tragedy has struck again for Malaysia Airlines, only months after their last passenger plane went missing. In light of the 295 passengers who were plucked from the sky at the hands of Ukrainian opposition forces, the airline is taking a page from the U.S. Military’s safety playbook.

July 11, 2014

Rick Merritt Defeats ISIS in Iraq

Savannah, Georgia – Early reports are coming in that the militant group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria – otherwise known as ISIS, was single handedly defeated by one man last night.

April 26, 2014

Mat Best Accused of Stolen Valor

Mr. Best is seen depicting both characters, in which he wears the famous Green Beret of the Army Special Forces as well as the Eagle, Globe and Anchor of the Marine Corps in his costumes – neither of which he has earned.

April 20, 2014

BLM Disrupts 420 Festival

Denver, CO (April 20th, 2014) – After suffering an embarrassing defeat in the Nevada desert, the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) is looking to reclaim their dignity. They are pursuing a slightly “softer” target than the ranchers of Nevada this time though.

April 3, 2014

PETA Protests Local Texas Taxidermist

The animal rights community is infuriated after a local taxidermy business put an advertisement on Craigslist late Wednesday night. Although taxidermy is a common practice, especially in Texas, this particular ad was enough to stir the emotions of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to the point of action. 

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