January 4, 2016

Dino Poop Disguises

Hit The Woodline has learned that Democratic Party spies have been infiltrating Republican closed-door donor events and secret strategy meetings by wearing Old Spice, Aqua Velva […]
January 1, 2016

Predictions for 2016

John Stewart will be named the new executive producer for The O’Reilly Factor on FOX News. “I can’t fight it any longer,” will say Stewart. “I’ve […]
December 31, 2015

U.S. Government’s New Years Preparations

The U.S. Government made the following announcements today that are in preparation of New Year’s Eve 2016. All the preparations, listed below, have roots in tradition […]
December 31, 2015

New Years Suggestions

Okay, all you yahoos, gather ‘round. We, the editors at Hit The Woodline, offer the following suggestions to help you prepare, mentally and materially, for New […]
December 29, 2015

New Bacon Grease Missile

Raytheon announced today an exciting addition to its line of air-to-ground missiles: the AGM-98 “Hell Pig”, an air-to-ground missile with a two-pound can of bacon grease […]
December 27, 2015

Christmastown Disappeared

Hit The Woodline has learned, according to Special Forces teams on the snow, that Christmastown, and the entire area, normatively known as the North Pole, has […]
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